You grow up. You have big dreams. You rack up thousands upon thousands of dollars in student loans, unless you are that lucky piss ant that gets his or her college education paid for, to whom I say, “Screw. You.” And then, finally, you try your hardest to get a damn job. But no. Not gonna happen. Because, apparently, you have to have EXPERIENCE to get a job. As if your fucking college education wasn’t good enough. Kinda like that time you tried to get a student credit card (because after all, ALL the students are getting them because they are poor, helpless STUDENTS), but they wouldn’t give you a lick of credit without, you guessed it, credit.
So how, you may ask, do you get by without a job? All you have is a degree that cost a fortune and took a huge chunk out of your life just so that you could regurgitate the scientific method, one of Shakespeare’s sonnets, and Freud’s thoughts on screwing his mother. Give me a fucking break.
I’m in this exact situation. And it sucks ass. I will admit that I did actually get a job immediately upon graduating, but that only meant that I spent the next year of my life in absolute hell, crying in my classroom closet and begging (BEGGING!) rich teenagers to shut the fuck up. (I did not use the word fuck. That would have gotten me fired.) I will also admit that I took a year-long hiatus from anything degree-related to pursue a dead-end cake decorating career, which only left me feeling helpless and without any room for growth in my life. Sure, it was fun, but it wasn’t taking me anywhere.
So now that I’ve actually figured out the system, figured out where to really look for jobs in my field, I am yet again left by the wayside. According to all 6 jobs I spent hours applying for today (which oddly came back very quickly), this is how they felt about me: “Reviewed – Failed Basic Qualifications – No further consideration of application will be made.” I failed the BASIC qualifications! Do you know what this means? It means I suck. It means I am a failure. It means I am about to be on the couch, left to my own devices, and watching Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince for the 23rd time…because that is what I do when I get depressed and feel like there is no way out…I travel to a fantasy world and pretend I can perform magic with my mad jedi mind skills. Although, some would say that I live in a fantasy world all the time, I would have to disagree. You just think I live in a fantasy world, because I make it look easy to forget about life’s troubles. What’s really happening inside my head is constant thinking, constant nonstop contemplation of the world and what it has to offer me, what I have to offer it. And then, after one long stride and a huge freakin’ leap, I fall flat on my face, veg out on the couch in my misery, and start all over again the next day. This is my life cycle. This is how I deal with shit.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be going. I have a movie to watch. And a tissue to dry my tears.
P.S. My apologies for this incredibly profane and emo post, but I had to write this. I had to express what I couldn’t say out loud. If you are still here, still reading: Thank you. From the bottom of my poor little achy breaky heart.
August 12th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Nice little rant and you are not far off the mark with your position and attitude. I can somewhat relate to your situation albeit from a different perspective. My experience is on the other side of the coin, though it is just as frustrating. I did not finish college and ‘earn’ a degree – but that’s another story for another time. After serving 4+ years in the US Navy, I decided to finally pursue my passion; art and computers. I went to a small private art college, attempting to get a fine arts BA degree, majoring in graphic design. That was my first mistake. I only managed to complete 2.5 semesters, taking mostly classes that I felt were a waste of time and hard earned money. One major problem, it turned out, was that they didn’t really have a refined Visual Communications course; it was still in the development stages. That was the beginning of my frustrations. I know I should have gone to a state college, but again, that’s another tale. After having some financial aid problems, and frustrating experiences with the VA and college ‘Advisor’ I decided I had no choice but to drop out. After dropping out I was amazing luckily to get a job at a small local print shop doing pre-press operations and layout. I was happy to just be doing something in my field of study. However, I soon learned that print shop careers are very unstable due to various factors, mostly the economy. Fast forward 10 years and I have since worked at three more print shops, a printing device manufacturing corporation (my longest employment was there, being 3 years) and a web development company. Other than the 3 years working as a product specialist, my career has been less than impressive. And the hardest thing about it is (being the point of my reply) that I really have very little to show for my efforts. Sure, I have years of experience, but it’s mostly in a print shop doing pre-press, which many design firms and advertising companies don’t exactly view as being ‘ideal’ for a creative background. Also, many print shops do not allow you to retain much of the (little) design work that you get to do for the purpose of using in a portfolio; meaning I have to produce more design work on my own on my own time. And when you work a full day doing that stuff, working most of your nights doing the same thing isn’t ideal. Although, even when I do, it’s not necessarily helpful in retaining a job. Why? Because without a degree, many potential jobs that I spend hours applying to and pursuing tend to look right past my long time experience and portfolio work, and focus directly on having that little slip of paper as THE (dis)qualifying factor. “Well, you certainly have the skills and experience to do this job. We like what we see. Oh, but you don’t have a degree?” Hmm… Thanks, but we decided to go with someone else more ‘qualified’.” I hear this all the time – as do many other non-degree peers in my network – and it kills me a little bit inside every time. *sigh*
So I go home in a funk and watch The Incredibles for the 50th time with a bowl of Mint Chocolate Chip and pint of Yuengling. Yeah, that about sums it up.