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Mod Mobilian Unearths Shocking New Campaign Finance Abominations

07 Jun 2012

written by Anonymous

Mod Mobilian Unearths Shocking New Campaign Finance Abominations

jones

Local politicians gleefully celebrate their campaign finance violations.

After two hours of strenuous research modmobilan.com has unearthed one of the most shocking, heinous, egregious and despicable campaign finance snafus in local history. These include disclosures that were (intentionally or not) neglected by other local media – who may have been afraid to report them. It’s all in the video below. This makes the stuff that the other media outlets were quibbling about look like jaywalking.

Check it:

University of Alabama (football) ticket office, $525 …Southerness Inc., $6,429….A Catered Affair, $14,500….Epiphany Cafe in Tuscaloosa, $763.04…Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas, $477.60 …. Cafe Med Sunset in West Hollywood, $330.34….iTunes, $12.90… Texas State Bar $300…….Nike Golf, $199.16 … Auto Repair, $689….two Kenneth Cole puffer vests, $40….Farmer’s Insurance, $399.35….Griffith Art Gallery, $2,565.00… Sam’s Wholesale Club, $1,126.27…. Painted Pink dress shop, $250.80… Hobby Lobby, $249.82 …. ABC (state liquor) store, $608.32 ….B.B. King’s blues club in Memphis, $88.25 …Bass Pro Shop, $68.16…. Epiphany Cafe, $547.63….Apple Store, $296.89….Delmonico Restaurant in Miami, $568.54….Wal-Mart, $346.96…Inn at USC (University of South Carolina), $221.96…Garibaldi’s Restaurant in Columbia, S.C…338.91….Apple Store, $447.29….Bear Trap bar in Tuscaloosa, $56.17…Hotel Capstone in Tuscaloosa, $437.30…Gallettes bar in Tuscaloosa, $29…Hotel Capstone, $202.92…Best Buy, $399.16….Best Buy, $1,593.79…iTunes, $1.08, iTunes, $43.54, iTunes, $40.26….Alley Bar in Montgomery, $71…. ABC store, $224.13….ABC store, $255.37….Alley Bar, $44.50….Ritz Carlton, $826.24…Wal-Mart, $618.53….Paradis Restaurant, $418.44…Quality Meats, $417.18…Auburn University (football) ticket office, $200…Visa card late fee, $29…Peachtree Package liquor store in Atlanta, $205.16…

*Some other people’s campaign finance disclosures may have accidentally gotten mixed up with those of the subject of this report.

barron

The Fair Campaign Finances Act (Section 17-5-7) states:

A candidate, public official, or principal campaign committee as defined in this chapter, may only use campaign contributions for the following purposes:
(1) Necessary and ordinary expenditures of the campaign.
(2) Expenditures that are reasonably related to performing the duties of the office held. For purposes of this section, expenditures that are reasonably related to performing the duties of the office held do not include personal and legislative living expenses.
(3) Donations to the State General Fund, the Education Trust Fund, or equivalent county or municipal funds.
(4) Transfers to another political committee as defined in this chapter.
(5) Inaugural or transitional expenses.

We call on the appropriate authorities  to prosecute this malfeasance.

Disclaimer: The employees and management of Strategy Inc. had no direct role in the production of this satirical report.


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